How to prepare for a first date: 8 ways to stand out from the crowd

Table of contents:

1. Tip 1. Choose the best location
2. Tip 2. Find an exciting topic of conversation
3. Tip 3. Get your thoughts in order before the date
4. Tip 4. Learn from your own mistakes
5. Tip 5. Try to understand yourself
6. Tip 6. Remember that body language is a reflection of you
7. Tip 7. Maintain interest
8. Tip 8. Try to get the other person to talk

Doubts are in the past, and you have decided to ask someone you like on a first date. What now? How do you overcome stress, gather your willpower and plan everything perfectly? We have prepared eight tips, listening to which you can get maximum pleasure from preparing for the meeting and make the most favorable impression on the potential partner.

Tip 1. Choose the best location

How the date will go depends a lot on the place where you organize the meeting. Before the first date, 99.9% of men do not know the preferences of the invited party, so the best choice would be a neutral area, where in a comfortable environment, there will be an opportunity to get to know the other party better and try to understand how well you fit together. 

You may find that even after the first few minutes of dialogue, you will realize that you feel uncomfortable paired with the other person. Imagine a date developing just like this, and you still have a long dinner or movie ahead of you. You can only avoid the stress of staying together at the end of the meal or date. The best choice is a coffee shop or a bar where you can order a coffee or a cocktail. If the beginning of the meeting is good, you can continue elsewhere. If you run out of topics to talk about very quickly or the person you're talking to starts to annoy you – you can leave rapidly without feeling uncomfortable.

Tip 2. Find an exciting topic of conversation

The need to keep the conversation going during a first date, especially for those with high social anxiety or communication difficulties, is a real challenge. And yet, even the most inexperienced have many opportunities to make the conversation interesting. 

It is helpful to know that women, as a rule, prefer interlocutors who can start a conversation authentically. They are annoyed by empty phrases and attempts to seem funny or clumsy. On the other hand, the fairer sex likes men who are interested, intelligent, and well-informed and who can structure the conversation in such a way as to demonstrate these qualities. If you struggle with sociophobia or are quiet, engaging in conversation with someone you don't know well can be unnerving. However, by being mindful of your interlocutor's preferences and focusing on topics that reflect your intellectual and cultural interests, you can increase your chances of having a successful and enjoyable conversation.

There are several ways to get to know a person better. Firstly, American researchers suggest you make a list of questions to ask a potential partner in advance, so you will see what you need and be prepared in advance. For example, you can ask how a person sees his perfect day and how he plans it. It is also relevant to ask about hobbies or the most valuable memories. You can also ask which famous people the companion would like to invite to dinner. So you will become closer and learn more about your hobbies.

Also, reciprocity is the key to a successful conversation in any context, especially when trying to impress someone. When someone tells you something about themselves or asks you a question, always respond by telling a similar story or asking the same question. It's polite and keeps the conversation going.

One of the most important things to do before you leave the house and start your date is to get your thoughts in order. While you cannot control chemistry, compatibility, or attraction, you can be sure that you are mentally prepared if these feelings arise.

Tip 3. Get your thoughts in order before the date

If we go on a date feeling unworthy or doomed in advance, these feelings will stay with us for the whole evening. And no matter how much someone likes us, even if the partner is not shy and openly demonstrates his feelings, overcoming insecurity will be incredibly difficult. That's why practicing self-awareness, self-forgiveness, and self-compassion before a date is essential. Ideally, it is worth doing this every day, although, to many, such a task may seem almost impossible or inappropriate for an adult.

And nevertheless, it is crucial, so before the date, it is worth thinking about all the unsuccessful past dates and trying to figure out why they were a failure. Remember to analyze your mistakes, no person is perfect, and many people were in a similar situation. After all, none of us is excellent! So don't get upset if something goes wrong; remember that painful experiences are also meaningful.

As you reflect on past dates, also think back to the positive experiences of your previous encounters. Know that almost everyone usually experiences the trepidation, nerves, and fear you feel before a date. 

So, instead of blaming yourself, feeling unworthy, or being pessimistic about the future, you can get rid of it all and know one thing: bad dates and relationships happen. But when dating and relationships go right, it can be life-changing.

Tip 4. Learn from your own mistakes

Many men struggle to escape past dating experiences, which is fundamentally wrong. Try to focus on what you can learn from them instead of dwelling on the negatives. Think about whether you have behaved unkindly or unfairly on dates, and think about what you could do differently to improve the situation.

Don't beat yourself up, but reflect on your behavior that of your partner, and what and how you said during the meeting. Pay attention to those phrases that contributed to the dialogue and aroused mutual interest. Play out other scenarios for the development of your discussion. The perfect date is either a matter of chance or (more often) the result of your experience and careful work on yourself. 

Tip 5. Try to understand yourself

You need to know what you want from life and your partner to be able to interest him during the first meeting. Yes, and understanding whether your significant other is sitting across from you in this arrangement is unlikely to happen. This advice is essential for those who meet offline and those looking for a partner on dating sites. 

Once you understand who you are, you can fill out a profile on social networks or a dating site: this way, you will tell more about yourself even before the meeting and create many topics of conversation in direct contact. But don't try to lie to anyone. Especially not yourself. The truth will come out in the process, and if you lie, the date is doomed to failure.

Tip 6. Remember that body language is a reflection of you

Don't be afraid to sound funny using your body language. Non-verbal cues are just as important as speech, sometimes even more so. In addition, trying to hide your body language or change it, you begin to behave unnaturally, leading to the interlocutor losing interest or making a false opinion about you. To avoid being intimidated during a meeting, it's worth a little workout at home in front of the mirror. Do not be ashamed of your body; allow it to lead a silent dialogue, and you'll be surprised how pleasant your date will be! You can practice your body language at home just by standing in front of the mirror.

Tip 7. Maintain interest

Each person is unique, but what is your "feature"? Think about it before the meeting to get your partner interested in you in the first minutes of the dialogue. Don't be too selfish. Try to analyze what questions you could ask your partner to support the conversation and get to know him more, what you want to learn to understand if your significant other is there for you. It is equally important to try to find "common ground," shared interests that will unite you and your partner and become the key to the potential development of your relationship.

Tip 8. Try to get the other person to talk

Very often, we devalue people who are modestly silent, listening attentively to our monologue. Do not let the first date sound only your "nightingale trills" - ask the interlocutor questions, express interest in his words non-verbally, and look for common topics on which you have the same view. By the way, the rapprochement and disclosure of each interlocutor help to order the same food during the first date.

The tips above only seem simple at first glance. Reread them and think about how to implement them in your situation. Experiment, be courageous, and be spontaneous and creative because the last two qualities are essential in building solid relationships between people.