What to talk about on a first date, and what is better to remain silent

Table of contents:

1. Preparation for the first date is necessary
2. How to behave at the first meeting
3. Favorable topics for communication
4. Topics that should better be avoided
5. And a few last words...

Ancient sages used to say: Look for an exciting woman to talk to; you won't have anything else in your old age. But it is also vital for a man to be an interesting interlocutor. And he can show himself on the first date. But, unfortunately, that same cherished first meeting often puts the gentleman in confusion. What to talk about, with what intonations, and how to present yourself? There are a lot of questions. They often scare men, so some members of the more vigorous sex age 40+ refuse to date. And entirely in vain, because at this age, one should meet and talk to women to build a mature, conscious relationship for joy and happiness.

But let's figure out how a man should prepare for a date, what to talk about and not, and what techniques to use to charm the lady to make the second, third, fifth, and tenth dates happen. 

Preparation for the first date is necessary 

It is necessary to prepare for the first meeting, mentally and psychologically. It is also essential to choose clothes and shoes to be comfortable. A neat hairstyle, well-groomed hands, a pleasant perfume - it is unnecessary to talk about it. But the main thing is the mood. It must be excellent. Radiate positivity and energy of good. Your vis-a-vis will feel it at once and will answer you in the same way.

Before the date, you should have lunch so you don't look at your chosen one with hungry eyes. Choose light, familiar dishes. It is better to refuse alcohol. Few ladies will be happy with a drunken beau.

Thinking through the data step by step is unnecessary, but the broad canvas should be. The woman is always waiting for the initiative from his companion, so think of 2-3 options where you could go. And just in case, create a plan B if the lady refuses all the previous suggestions.

Take care of the flowers. Let it be a small bouquet, but it will give your vis-a-vis a lot of pleasant moments. In addition, you can buy a small gift souvenir to thank her for putting aside her business and finding time to spend the evening with you. It will add points and set a high tone for your meeting.

How to behave at the first meeting  

A first date has its own unspoken rules that should be kept intact. The most important rule is not to be late. On the contrary, it is better to come 10-15 minutes earlier and tune in to the right wave. Think about how pleased you will spend your time now, how interesting and happy you will be to talk with this woman. When they show up, greet her with a smile and express your admiration for her appearance. You can pay her a few compliments.

During the date, communicate, and be genuinely interested in her life and hobbies. But don't turn the conversation into an interrogation. Listen attentively to her, and don't interrupt. Answer her questions. Be yourself, be honest, and be friendly. Refrain from insisting if the woman does not want to talk about something. It's best to change the subject. Remember to compliment her. Let them be a little, but they should be sincere and from the heart. Your lady with you should be easy and pleasant when you do not even want to say goodbye to the person.

If you plan to sit in a restaurant or cafe, calculate your options if you must pay for the girl. But everyone is different here. Feminist-minded ladies may refuse your money and offer to split the bill between the two. So it is better to clarify this point. And you shouldn't invite your significant other to an expensive restaurant if you can only afford a small but cozy cafe. Instead, you can drink excellent coffee or tea with cakes and walk along the promenade or in the park.

At the end of the date, walk your lady home or pay her a cab - a display of gallantry must be present. Every woman appreciates the care and will note what a gentleman you are.

Favorable topics for communication

There are many such topics; bringing humor and lightness to your conversations is a good idea. You can start with your story: who you are, what you do, where you studied, and some exciting moments from your biography. But without tedious details. If you have acquaintances in common, you can talk about them. You can also talk about hobbies and things you enjoy. It can be movies, music, books, and other things. When you find common ground, the topic will begin to develop independently. It could be, for example, pets, travel, or photography.

A good topic for the first meeting is culinary preferences. Here you can communicate endlessly, discuss recipes from different countries and your cooking abilities, share tips, and even plan dinners together.

Goals and life plans can also be discussed for hours. They will help you better discover the person sitting in front of you. There are simple ideas and dreams that you want to realize, or you want entirely different things. So you will understand whether you are on your way with this lady or it's better to look for another woman to live with and to realize your ideas together. For example, you, a non-drinker, want to buy a house by the sea, run along the surf in the morning, and paint landscapes, and she plans to travel around several states on a bike and drink at least 100 liters of different beers, dancing until dawn to the heavy rock. In this case, the probability of your tandem is very low, and you cannot create a harmonious pair. However, anything can happen in this world!

Topics that should better be avoided

To avoid embarrassing situations, avoid the topics listed below — any negative, scary, disgusting stories. Instead, be optimistic, radiate joy, and you won't go wrong.

Avoid money: who earns how much, spends, saves, etc. Personal information can be discussed, but not on the first date. 

You don't want to dump your problems and troubles on your date from the doorstep. You don't want to show yourself as a whiner and a loser who can't deal with his problems.

Do not criticize yourself and your body. Refrain from discussing the appearance of your chosen one. Even if you have dozens of complexes, it's only your complexes; a woman can not even guess about them. And the things you do not categorically like can become an object of admiration for her.

Another taboo subject is former partners. It's better not to talk about them at all. And if she touches this subject, you can unobtrusively move on to something else, like work or hobbies. 

It's better not to talk about sex at the first meeting - it's too early. However, this topic is appropriate when ready to take the next step.

Not all women are willing to discuss religion, politics, and sports, so it's best to postpone them until the next time. Then, and only if the woman wants to discuss some issue or wants to hear your opinion on these topics can you satisfy her curiosity.

There is no need to ask the girl various provocative questions not to embarrass her. Instead, you will know that communication has gone wrong and in the wrong direction by an awkward pause, tension, and a sudden change of her mood.

Also, only bring up topics you understand. Your task is to make a good impression, so it is better to talk about what you are an expert in. Or you know the subject in depth.

Do not lie or make up "heroic" stories involving you. Sooner or later, the woman will discover it's all made up, and you will appear a liar. Not a good prospect.

Never make any innuendoes or dubious suggestions that might offend your date. Obscene gestures and grabbing hands, shoulders, and waist are also not allowed - respect the personal boundaries of your companion. If you used strong language in ordinary life, forget about them during the meeting. Do everything for your lady's comfort, especially if you want to continue communicating.

And a few last words...

A successful date should leave both you and her a pleasant aftertaste. That means you should put into it the maximum energy and soul. When communicating with your lady, look into her eyes, smile, and show interest and respect. But do not overdo it. It is better to refrain from touching and hugging. Not every woman likes when unfamiliar men feel her. Reduce the distance gradually.

Be confident in yourself. Speak clearly and loudly enough. Try to express your thoughts clearly and concretely. But do not turn communication into a monologue. Instead, transmit to your interlocutor that you are a decent person who is safe and secure. Do not make loud statements. Do not make promises; act. 

If you smoke on a date, ask your woman if she doesn't mind you taking a cigarette. She mustn't smoke. You may want to give up the nasty habit for those few hours.

And one last piece of advice - don't be silent. You don't know what to say; admire a lady: her beauty, her intelligence, her ability to joke, to eat, to laugh, to wear dresses. It can be anything. There is something in every woman that can and should be admired. Do everything so that when she says goodbye to you, she regrets that you are parting and dreams of the next date.