Who pays on the first date: a man or still in half?

Table of contents:

1. Option 1: The one who invited pays
2. Option 2. Split the bill
3. Option 3: A gentleman pays on the first date
4. If there is an awkward pause
5. Why not start with a reasonable date?
6. Sometimes it is necessary to let the situation go
7. Other inexpensive date ideas
8. The question remains open

Have you been asked out on a date? Who should pay on a first rendezvous? In the 1950s, there was no doubt a gentleman should do it. But now things have changed a bit. And a woman may also seek to be independent, and she may be offended by such a man's guardianship. So on who will pay on the first date, you need to think in advance; otherwise, you can not avoid unforeseen unpleasant scenarios.

Option 1: The one who invited pays

This golden rule works all over the world. It seems fair, but it has its peculiarities, both advantages, and disadvantages. For example, let's say you rightly believe the very fact that a man and a woman meet in person does not impose a financial obligation on him on the first date. In this case, the rule may be entirely fair.

It has another advantage. The meeting organizer can have the primary right to decide what to do about it. However, the disadvantage of this approach may be the following. First, it will give the impression that since you paid at the first meeting, you can constantly do so in the future.

So if you invite someone to a meeting, you may resent that you have to compensate for everything. The advice sounds like this: suppose you ask someone to a meeting, whether a girl or a friend, you have to take care of the costs. At the same time, choose a restaurant or cafe where you can afford to compensate the bill in full.

If you are invited on a date and offered to pay for it, you can offer to split the cost in half. Of course, the person who invited you to the meeting may insist on reimbursing everything, but he will be pleased if you offer to help compensate for the bills.

Option 2. Split the bill

This option looks fair enough. No one takes the role of meeting organizer or the obligation to repay the expenses. Also, no one will be shocked by too much money. If you come to a party where you can enjoy the cuisine and the bowling, you can offer to pay the enormous bills, and for the small ones, everyone will pay for themselves.

Surprisingly, splitting the check is only some people's preferred variant. For example, a survey conducted by human relations researchers found only 7% of those who participated agreed to such an option.

The reasons here are clear. Partners often split bills if they are friends or "old" couples, but not on a first date. If you offer to split the bills, it may be perceived as if you're not interested, that you don't like your girlfriend. It can also ruin your mood, especially if you love and dream about the future.

There is another way – to pay in turns. Then you don't have to think about how to split the check. For example, you paid for dinner, and the other bought movie tickets. 

Option 3: A gentleman pays on the first date

People used to think it was a man's duty to pull out his wallet and cover the expenses regardless of who asked who to date. A girl would smile back, thank you, and let you do it without objection on her part. Meeting expectations has long changed, and events can develop according to different scenarios.

A woman can count if she pays or offers to split the bills; she is on equal footing. On the other hand, if a person is economically responsible, she may be in very cramped circumstances and may have debts or little income. Of course, it is easier for wealthy people to pay their bills. However, the notion that a gentleman reimburses all expenses, regardless of circumstances, has yet to be revealed to many. In addition, it can mean dominance in a relationship.

Many believe a person who makes a lot of money should pay everywhere. So it makes no sense to expect a gentleman always to be financially responsible. It all depends on what suits you.

Part of society insists that the bill must be paid entirely by the man on the first date. There is nothing wrong with following tradition. However, it may seem old-fashioned, silly, and unfair in a world full of strong, independent women. But no matter how independent a woman is, it's nice to be taken care of, at least a little, even if it's just a drink at a bar.

At the same time, men like it when a woman offers to compensate them for the bill or split it in half. It shows that she has the right attitude and is not just taking advantage of a man. It's important to refrain from offering to split the bill if it's uncomfortable.

There used to be a saying that men expected sex in exchange for paying the bill. But a 2008 survey found this has changed: less than 20 percent of men believe that women should have sex if they compensate on the first date.

We polled who should pay on a first date on our Instagram page. According to the results, 34% of subscribers thought they should split the bill. However, 54% of those surveyed are convinced that the one who invites pays.

If there is an awkward pause

There are no strict rules about who should provide financially for the first meeting. It depends on the development of events; think it through in advance. Don't overcomplicate it. Depending on which way of a product you choose, so as not to keep an awkward pause, you can say different things: "I invited you to the meeting, so I pay." "I like to compensate my bills separately, so no one is burdened with closing the bill." "You don't mind if I pay for the pizza, and then you buy an ice cream."

Why not start with a reasonable date?

If you start courting a lady, invite her to a cafe or a walk in the park. This way, you can get to know each other better and get to know each other. In addition, small monetary expenses will remove from the agenda the question of who financially provides the meeting. Below we will tell more about free and inexpensive ideas.

Sometimes it is necessary to let the situation go

You built a scenario and decided that, as a gentleman, you should take financial responsibility, but something went wrong. The girl, whether out of equal rights, pride, or high finance, refuses and offers to split the bills. Nothing is gentlemanly about insisting out of sheer stubbornness, especially if the other half becomes irritable. Then, of course, you have to give up, but you know when to let the situation go. You should raise the issue at the second meeting.

Other inexpensive date ideas

In the U.S., the average cost of a date would cost the invitee more than $100. That's if you have dinner at a lovely cafe or restaurant, a bottle of wine, and a cinema. If you're single for now, in the future, when you start dating, that amount will go up, given inflation. After all, it affects everything from a hamburger to the price of gasoline; the cost of a meeting will only get more expensive. Here are some ideas for a reasonable time out.

Nature Walk

Offer to hike, visit a botanical garden, or spend a day by the river. These activities do not cost anything financially but will lift your spirits and create all the conditions to get to know your companion better. Furthermore, 2 hours spent in nature in green spaces strengthens health and revitalizes the psychological state.

Offer to spend the day at home and make a favorite meal

First, you must go to the supermarket and buy everything you need. Then you will cook something delicious together at home, socialize and get to know each other. This data will be significant, and you will get to know each other more than you did in the restaurant.

Organize an art evening

Love to take pictures, can't pass by beautiful places? Great, take a walk together and take photos of the sights in the city and your favorite sites. Or you would love the idea of a musical evening. You can choose the scenario.

What about watching a movie in the park for free?

It is also a good option, especially in summer. During the hot months, you can find many free ways to have fun: watch a movie in the park; go to an art gallery or exhibition opening; attend a free concert; read a book together.

The question remains open

The question of who pays on the first date can be discussed endlessly by people. So let the one who invites or splits the bill pay. All of the options we have listed have their pros and cons.

Men in heterosexual relationships usually pay the check on the first date, preferring chivalry. Same-sex couples split the cost in half and focus more on finding free entertainment.

If the first meeting leads to a second or third and turns into a relationship, both parties can start paying alternately, depending on available opportunities and personal preferences. Each case is different, and you should decide which option works best.